one step in front of the other

There’s a extraordinarily insipid Hebrew song that was popular back in the 60’s, at the time when “Jewish” music was just breaking into a new form; pop, meaning popular. In the style of the times. But what it was really was just a 2-part easy-to-sing-around-the-campfire kind of song that could make people feeeeeel something.

(I know. I’m a sentimental old fool.)

The song was “Kol HaOlam Kulo Gesher Tzar M’od”. The 2 lines translate as:

The whole world is a very narrow bridge.
And the main thing is not to fear at all.

It was based on the words of Rebbe Nachman, who was also becoming mainstream in those days. Ironically, much of the music that he himself wrote is much more sophisticated and worth knowing, past your school or camp experiences.

But it’s actually not what he wrote.

I’m attaching the original Hebrew, but you can see it here, brought to us by the Breslov organization, in Likutei Moharan II, 48.

It says, right in the middle:

…And all of it comes together and gathers and connects and comes to help you in a time of trouble, which is, G-d forbid, some pressure or trouble, G-d forbid. And know that a person needs to cross over a very very narrow bridge, and the rule and the principle is that he should not יתפחד

Okay here’s where it gets even more interesting. The word he uses is in the reflexive future tense. I saw one person translate it as “not give into fear.”

“Don’t get caught up in fear.”

Now we see that they changed the words to get a simple tune.

But this is not simple, is it?

After all, there is much to be afraid of. There was when Rebbe Nachman wrote it and there was when they changed it to fit the tune. And we have not changed now. Newtown. Boston. Syria.  Lots of narrowness.

But

the other day, after our hike, I thought about this some more.

It’s not that there aren’t troubles; it’s that we gather our strength to go step-by-step, with G-d’s help. We don’t walk sideways; we walk ahead. We are creatures who move that way, not like crabs.

We can walk backwards, when we realize we’ve made a mistake or when we want or need to re-visit somewhere.

So we can admit to being afraid; we can admit to the reality of the world. But we can also muster up the help around us to move forward.

 

 

And be amazed.

dear granddaughter with your nine syllables

and that doesn’t include your family name,

I am looking forward to meeting you in person in January! Before that, I will be hopefully meeting two of your younger cousins on this end of the universe  (בשעה טובה ומוצלחת).

In the meantime, I am happy to have more connection with you than your ancestors would have had with their einiklach in all corners of the universe, with all of our Skyping and Facebooking and Googling.

Then again, many of them stayed in the same shtetl for ages, so it’s a balance.

Your siblings have been on great adventures already, living in Israel and travelling to Canada and the States and then off to South Australia.

Your parents can read you more about the song here, if they want.

And so your first experiences are so very different but so much the same, aren’t they?

Your wonderful parents have never had a third child before; that in and of itself makes everything different. And when you learn about literature, you’ll find out that the use of local color is only one literary device, often overplayed.

Settings of time perhaps are more important.

And how to fill out the character? That is prominent, in my book.

So who will you be?

I know you will be smart,

feisty, strong-willed, kind, sweet, stubborn, impulsive, thoughtful, curious, strong, creative, eager, loving, singing, funny.

(strong-willed

adjective resolute, firm, single-minded, purposeful, fixed, intent, persistent, stalwart, persevering, tenacious, steadfast, unwavering, immovable,headstrong, unflinching, strong-minded, self-willed He is a very determined and strong-willed person.

Collins Thesaurus of the English Language – Complete and Unabridged 2nd Edition. 2002 © HarperCollins Publishers 1995, 2002)

You get that from every single side, generations back as far as the eye can imagine seeing.

I hope that you will be happy most of the time.

That you also get from everyone.

I hope you will channel your great ancestors and their love of Judaism and of Torah and of Jews and of G-d. I hope you will get their message loud and clear, how family means everything and being loyal is the best strategy for winning.

And love shows up and know that it’s there for you.

And if you noticed that I didn’t say “pretty”, I’ll say it now.

I’m sure you will be pretty spectacular.

And I’m looking forward to meeting you and letting you know that in person.

Love,

Savta

seriously, tips for house guests

You might be thinking, “Why re-invent the wheel? Surely the google can bring up lots of lists!”

And you might even be thinking, “Surely the Talmud or somewhere in the Jewish world of books there must be advice. After all, being a host and being a guest goes back to the beginning of time!”

And you’re right about both, of course.

There is a wonderful aphorism about that in Midrash Tehillim translated here:

The meaning is that a guest should not impose on their host or extend their visit longer than three days. In Midrash Tehillim it states, “On the day a guest arrives, a calf is slaughtered in his honor; the next day, a sheep, the third day, a fowl, and on the fourth day, he is served just beans” (23:3).

I am happy to have taken the opportunity to look into this saying. Fascinatingly enough, it’s based on the verse in Psalms that’s probably more well-known than any other, if I took a guess–Psalm 23. And it’s on the first verse–“I shall not want”. Better translation: I will not lack.

I still might want, but I won’t really need anything. The midrash builds on the idea that G-d provided for the Children of Israel in the desert for 40 years at the same level each day, not like a flesh-and-blood host who will realistically tap down on provisions.

But isn’t that the difference between providing for your family and outside guests?

It’s also learned from the lessening of the daily sacrifices from the holiday of Sukkot, interestingly enough (Numbers Rabbah 21:25).

So again, do we learn anything different from today’s lists, other than maybe we should know that human nature is not to keep up the good work?

Here’s a  list from Apartment Therapy:

These are some of the tips from WikiHow:
Arrive when you say you will arrive. (WikiHow breaks this into 3 points; the first is a crucial part: Be specific with dates of arrival and departure.)
Don’t overstay your visit.
Bring a gift to say thank you at the outset.
Keep your guest area neat.
Be reasonable about sharing a household bathroom.
Don’t keep the hosts up late.
Offer to make contributions.
Entertain yourself.
Leave a thank you gift on your departure.

Yes, agreed. A nice start. But sooo many details need to be addressed that are left off here. You should look at the WikiHow list–she did a good job at providing details.

And communication is the key to all human interactions.

I’ll just include a few that weren’t included that I think are particularly important. My comments are in parentheses.

1. Be reasonable about sharing a household bathroom.
   • Guys: It’s most hygienic to just sit down to urinate. But if you want to urinate standing up, lift the seat first and wipe the rim afterward and replace the seat when you are done. (I just had to put that in:) )
2. Be clean yourself and try to make sure that you do not pass anything to your hosts. If you have anything contagious, you should take care with hygiene. If you are traveling with children, and they get something contagious, cancel your trip unless you absolutely have to go. Nothing is as cheerless as a family struck down by a stomach flu because a guest brought it.
3. When getting up in the night or very early in the morning, remember to be careful not to disturb your hosts.
4. If you’re sharing a bathroom, be considerate. (Especially with the use of hot water–don’t be a pig!)
5. Take some time out to be on your own, to allow your hosts to have some time to themselves without having to “entertain” you.
6. Don’t keep the hosts up late.
7. Always offer to help at mealtimes.
8. Don’t make assumptions.
9. Be aware of cultural/personal/family differences.
10. Be appreciative.
11. Be careful about Internet and phone usage. (That means don’t pick up the home phone line without checking if it’s needed, and do let the hosts know if there’s a beep while you’re speaking!!!)
12. Don’t outstay your welcome. A short stay is a pleasant stay and leaves everyone feeling good about each other. As Ben Franklin once said, “Fish and visitors stink after three days.”  (Actually, he did say it, but others said it before him. And I think they’re using the above midrash as a guide.Cf. [Plautus Miles Gloriosus l. 741] nam hospes nullus tam in amici hospitium devorti potest, quin, ubi triduom continuom fuerit, iam odiosus siet, no host can be hospitable enough to prevent a friend who has descended on him from becoming tiresome after three days.
    

    As we say in Athens, fishe and gestes in three dayes are stale.
    [1580 Lyly Euphues & his England II. 81]

    Two dayes y’ave larded here; a third yee know, Makes guests and fish smell strong; pray go.
    [1648 Herrick Hesperides 169]

    Fish and visitors smell in three days.
    [1736 B. Franklin Poor Richard’s Almanack (Jan.)])

And then there are the ones not mentioned.

1. If you have children, don’t assume that your hosts will have children’s medicine. Don’t assume that your child will not be sick. Be like a boy scout and Be Prepared, especially when it comes to your children!!!
2. Don’t eat food in your room unless your host says that’s fine. And that goes along for baby food, too.
3. Please check all your batteries in advance to make sure that they won’t need changing in the middle of the night.
4. Please let your hosts know if you have food, pet, plant, mold allergies and if you need anything particular for them.
5. Please don’t assume you will have privacy. You know what I mean.
6. Make a concerted effort to check for all your things. The gift that you may or may not give should be one that you mean to leave. Don’t make your hosts have to hunt you down. (I still don’t know who these earrings belong to…)
7. Do return all house keys. Still missing 2…

And this is a list for people who ask you to host their guests:

1. Please inform your hosts when exactly their guests will be arriving.
2. Actually, please inform your hosts who your guests will be. Their names. A little personal info.
3. Please let them know if your guests have particular needs. Or allergies. Or serious health issues.
4. If you have been told they can take 6, ask if that’s really too many and make other arrangements.
5. If some of the guests are not coming, for whatever reason, please let the hosts know ASAP so they won’t be left wondering if they should leave the door open while waiting for them or take a shower before Shabbat!

I still have the chocolates. Any takers?

my new granddaughter weighs more than my new vacuum cleaner

by 2 lbs!

Amazing. I won’t be able to hold this new baby until we go to Australia in January and by then, she’ll hopefully be a lot more than the 9 lbs she started at.

And yes, my vacuum cleaner is very small and wonderful. Isn’t it fascinating that something big being small is great and something small being big is amazing!

But more about the baby for now.

Her father was born at 9 lbs, 3 oz, but he was the fourth baby and I’m taller and bigger than my DIL. So wow. BIG baby! The middle one is showing lots of jealousy. She’s announcing her full name to everyone who doesn’t necessarily inquire, now that the new baby also has three names, and isn’t being as gentle as the big boy is. And the worse part of it is that the new baby looks very much like she used to, so she must really feel like she’s being usurped.

Oh I have a strong feeling she’ll figure out where and how she can shine. I am sure she’ll do just fine.

It just might require patience from parents and grandparents.

Australia is very very far away. I was telling someone the other day how difficult it was to go to Puerto Rico when my parents first got married and moved there. You had to take one flight to NY, then to Miami, and then to PR. It was the equivalent of traveling today to…

Australia!

The difference is that because everything is so immediate and we have no attention span that we can’t fathom something being that far and difficult to get to.

We’ll get there in January and it will be wonderful, as long as the weather cooperates, which is not a little thing.

Above-Normal Snow for Northeast, Appalachians
Above-normal snowfall is predicted for the Northeast, mid-Atlantic and central and southern Appalachians, spanning western Massachusetts to northern portions of Georgia and Alabama, this winter.

“I-95 this year in the Northeast and mid-Atlantic will have more snow than they did last year. However, as far as above-normal snowfall goes, from New York City on south and west has a better shot with more mixed rain and snow systems in New England,” AccuWeather Lead Long-Range Forecaster Paul Pastelok said.

Philadelphia, Washington, D.C., Baltimore and Charlotte are among other cities that may receive more snow than usual.

A couple of larger storms could unleash the above-normal snowfall in the major cities, as the winter setup should allow big storms to form off the East Coast. The best chance for the big snowstorms will arrive during the middle to latter part of the season, including January and February.

Look, let me get out of here and then let the snow fall! I won’t mind having to stay longer…

someone messed with my lists

There’s nothing wrong with making lists, is there?

Yom Kippur is a day full of lists. We go over all the things that we have done wrong publicly. And by that, I mean, we sing them out loud in public for what we may or may have not done publicly. In repeating them over and over, it’s like the police questioning a suspect, breaking down their defenses (from what I know from books, TV, and movies only, of course).

So lists can be very helpful. I make many, often. I have them on lots of different media–on my computer as reminders, emails I send to myself, notes on my phone, and then the old-fashioned way with lots of little pieces of paper.

For marketing, I put them in my coupon holder.

For other shopping, I put them in a particular pocket of my pocketbook.

For general ones, I put them in another pocket of that same pocketbook.

Here’s one I made for today.

Yes, I was going to get a vacuum cleaner at Costco, but ordered one through Amazon instead (for $100 off!).

I of course got a whole lot of things other than what was on the list.

For example, I ran into a friend at Costco and he told me stories about his mother and her realistic view of life as she has gotten older. She has told her family about her extra-ordinary adventures after the War in Israel and how she defied the British soldiers without blinking. And yet, she refuses to tell them about what she went through during the Holocaust in order to survive. It is her way to maintain her dignity. At what cost is her silence? Some therapists would say it’s impossible to hold that in. And yet she and many others have survived because they have not told, they have not shared. It’s really the unwritten chapter about the Holocaust, what we will never ever know.

And all of that conversation started because I shared that my father really wants to pick up and go to Australia, if S#2 and DIL#1 (since they were married before S#2) have a boy. Someone from the family has to represent, if there’s going to be a bris…

I think I convinced him that he shouldn’t go, not because it would be too much for him to travel to Australia, but because he didn’t go when they named their daughter after my mother…Guilt usually does win out.

And that he can’t give into the fact that running to Australia would be too much for him at his age because that’s what keeps him young.

So I’m not sure it’s a bucket list for him, but it’s what keeps him looking forward.

I guess the only thing wrong with lists is not completing them.

Or forgetting where you put them.

Or someone messing with them.

Which leads me to my other list that’s missing.

Someone (okay I know who it is but I’m not saying, but um it happened yesterday, so the suspects are limited) took my prayer book yesterday and took out my scraps of paper that I have accumulated. I found 2, but one is missing. On those papers I have names in Hebrew of people I know or who I’ve been asked to pray for their healing.

I can remember 3 of the names but not the last one.

I guess I have to hope that Someone else is taking very good care of that person.

let’s continue, shall we?

Back in time to the Land of Dinosaurs…

I wondered why I had never heard of this Field Station: Dinosaurs until ISHI found it up in the suggestions from Google for “children’s activities NJ”. It’s because it just opened up this year! Excellent adventure, really probably more fun for us adults than even for the kids, I think. Very very funny. They really build in a great educational program along with fun entertainment. One of the little sessions is to teach you how to respond to dinosaurs, if you come across them in the Outback (so partnering with Outback Steakhouse), with an Aussie dinosaur wrangler, to boot. And they teach how to show a dinosaur the back of your hand first and let them smell it so they know you are safe. So that’s the photo below of a kid smelling her own hand.

It’s also tremendously well-done marketing, where they get all kinds of companies (Coleman, Crayola, Legos [!], the aforementioned Outback Steakhouse:) ) to partner with them for great advertising. Brilliant, really brilliant.

Oh, and the New Jersey State Museum. It’s based on real live science.

Do you see how they build in the Empire State building into their logo? It overlooks it at one point, and so someone was really paying attention. Seriously well-done. The models move and screech by motion sensor and they are real enough to give a lot of kids the spooks. See my first photo for an example.

Actually, what sounds did dinosaurs make and why? I looked it up here🙂

Paleontologists may never know for sure what kinds of sounds dinosaurs made, but most believe that these animals did make noises. Why? Clues in dinosaur skulls tell them so. Some, like “Lambeosaurus,” had crests on top of their heads that probably filled with air when the animal breathed. As air was pushed through these crests, they likely made a deep bellowing sound similar to a horn.

Did dinosaurs communicate? Most paleontologists think so. Like modern-day birds and reptiles, dinosaurs probably made noises to signal that they were looking for a mate, that there was danger, or that they were hurt. Babies may have made sounds to let adults know they needed food or were in trouble.

While paleontologists have not found any evidence to suggest dinosaurs have external ears, the skulls and brain casts of certain dinosaurs indicate they had a good sense of hearing and the ability to hear both high- and low-frequency sounds. All of which mean their world could have been very noisy indeed!

Possible Dinosaur Sounds

• Bellows
• Honks
• Moos
• Squeaks
• Roars
• Snarls
• Snorts
• Grunts
• Hisses
• Rumbles
• Hoots

So if you’re in the area, check their calendar, since they’re on a different schedule now that it’s fall-ish.

And now for some photos:

(As always, click on any of them to open them up wide!)

am i done emptying yet?

[Middle English vacacioun, from Old French vacation, from Latin vacti, vactin-, freedom from occupation, from vactus, past participle of vacre, to be empty, at leisure; see eu- in Indo-European roots.]

or

1. (Law) (Social Science / Education) Chiefly Brit a period of the year when the law courts or universities are closed

2. another word (esp US and Canadian) for holiday

3. the act of departing from or abandoning property, etc.

vb

(intr) US and Canadian to take a vacation; holiday

[from Latin vacātiō freedom, from vacāre to be empty]

But then they also add this third definition:

vacation – Coming from Latin vacation/vacatio, from vacare, “to be free, empty; to be at leisure,” around 1395, this term entered Old English, meaning “rest and freedom from any activity.”

Ahhhh….

We didn’t do the vacation we’ve done the last few times. We did the visiting and enjoying the family thing, along with running and running and running. So I’m now in the process of recuperating from our vacation. You know, the unpacking, the laundry, the getting the house back in order…

We even wore out our son. But truthfully, he’s been having problems with his feet, so at least we got him to go into a great shoe store to get better arches and that seemed to help the next day, even if he was then nursing a cold or something.

At least he had taken the day off to spend with us, so that he could recuperate.

It’s more time than we have spent together, just the 3 of us, in I don’t think forever. So that was wonderful and hopefully not too costly for him.

For us it was priceless.

So should I work backwards? Yes. So Washington D.C. photos it will be. Right now I’ll start with just the standard kinds of tourist shots, you know, taking a moment to admire our country and its success. We take too much for granted in our lives.

Although I don’t really know why Albert Gallatin’s statue is in the front of the Treasury building.

Oh, now I know!

Abraham Alfonse Albert Gallatin (January 29, 1761 – August 12, 1849) was a Swiss-American ethnologist, linguist, politician, diplomat, congressman, and the longest-serving United States Secretary of the Treasury. In 1831, he founded the University of the City of New York. In 1896, this university was renamed New York University; it is now one of the largest private, non-profit universities in the United States.

Actually, this must be the back of the building, since there is a statue of Madison in the front. But boy, what a front!

I thought I should have named this “our tax dollars at work”, but I still have all the museum photos to post!

Well, at least I’ve done my laundry, but I still haven’t found my keys…

family first

Some vignettes of the last week will have to do until I get home.

1. When the 6 year-old was reading to his 2 year-old cousin and trying his best to s-o-u-n-d out the word m-u-f-f, saying “muh, muh, fuh, fuh…”, the smart-aleck 2 year-old says “um, I don’t think that’s the word…”
2. When the 10 year-old can’t find her iPod, her mother knows to call her niece to find it. The parents of said niece agree that they turn to her to find things all the time. Sure enough, she says, “sure, it’s either downstairs where we were filming our video or else in her room, but I think it’s probably downstairs.” It was.
3. When the glass of plain water, no ice, shows up on our restaurant table, ISHI thinks that he telepathically ordered it; I think that the waiter looked at him and figured out he needs it, and actually, it was our wonderful son who did a great chessed and ordered it for his poor father while he was washing his hands.

Family. If you can’t beat them, then you’re really lucky if you can join them.

dancing with elephants

We spent some time in the car today driving to Old Sturbridge Village with D#2 & family. People were driving insanely today, more than other times, more than we could want. There were a lot of large vehicles on the road and it made me feel like I was part of the uncut version of Fantasia, the part that was going to be saved for Disney’s first horror movie.

Or else the other version of Dancing with Wolves.

But then we got to the village and we allowed ourselves to be brought back to the 1830’s, at least the cleanest happiest version of it. It was a lovely day, so we didn’t get overwhelmed with smells or dirt or tasks. Everything had a lovely feel to it and the history interpreters do a wonderful job of explaining context and concept along with the tasks or chores they are performing. So we enjoyed learning about blacksmithing, tinwork, baseball of the earliest times (they ran around the bases to the left. One of our grandchildren asked why they didn’t go to the right, but the real question is why it changed to go to the right–haven’t found any answers to that yet.) And I have a few photos, of course.

The every day was cherished.

Watching baseball, the old-fashioned way.

The raw material used to dye pink.

Bugs.

We are sooo far away from this kind of mechanical simplicity. It was, literally, a breath of fresh air, even if pushed.

More dyes.

I know that they repeat themselves in the gallery, but I can’t figure out how to do both the large and the small.

I think I’ll add some more of the other categories tomorrow.

the continuing saga of the passport renewal process

Subtitle: okay what did i forget this time?

I went to CVS to get my passport photo. That could not have been easier. I ask the young woman who was closest to the photo area if she’s working that area and she said yes. So after inquiring what I wanted, she pulled out a little Kodak camera, pulls down a screen, like the kind we use to use for watching slide shows in school or at home. She took one shot, just like at the DMV, and loaded it up on their little computer, played around with it for a little to get it sized, and then it was ready.

It was a little too easy, which made me feel uneasy.

But just for a moment, she hesitated and called over a colleague.

“Can she be wearing something on her head for a passport photo?”

Notice that she didn’t ask me before she took the photo.

“That’s okay. I have a letter from my rabbi stating that I’m wearing it for religious reasons.”

“Oh, as long as you have a letter, I guess it’s okay.”

And as she played around with the shadows around my head, I realized that in today’s world, with photoshop, etc., how do we know what people look like? I mean, I didn’t bother putting on make-up for the photo, since I’m not going to be wearing it when I travel so I don’t want to fool anyone, but while you’re taking off the shadows from the outside, maybe you can knock off some of the shadows under my chin?

Oh, that’s not a shadow? That’s my wattle?

Or should I write “That’s my wattle!”?

I look back at my photo from 10 years ago and I realize that 10 years is a long time.

Sigh.

Good years, but they show.

But back to the saga I go.

I paid for the photo (using my $2 coupon), got the completed application, a check for the renewal fee, and the letter from my rabbi and went to the post office in the next town over, also bringing my other coupons for paper goods and for another store in the area, while I’m at it. I find a parking space right next to the building that was only for 30 minutes, but I thought I’d keep thinking positive and that I’d be out in time.

Not to worry; I was out in plenty of time.

I get up to the clerk and declare my intentions, pulling out all of my things from my little bag and then I also pull out a shriek.

SHRIEK!

This poor clerk jumped.

“I forgot my passport!”

So…I gather up all of my belongings, go to the other stores and regroup at home. This morning, I go to our local post office, plop down my items all arranged in their envelope, pay for the registered mail and off I went.

Now will they accept my lack of shadows?

That remains to be seen…