He was asked, “Where’s your cape?”
This was at a wedding. To say that this one made me feel better about our weddings when things didn’t go smoothly is the understatement of the century. Not that that is a good thing or a bad one. I don’t think anyone was feeling bad about it or had any desire to make things go more smoothly this time around.
Okay, by smoothly, I do probably mean timely. So I guess that’s my problem. They clearly didn’t care about that.
So when they finally got to the actual chuppah, it was not a surprise that the groom did not have the ring. Nor had he given it to anyone to hold. So where was it?
Oh, maybe in his bag.
Where was the bag?
“Oh, in that room, I think.”
Yeah, the room was locked.
So here comes superhero to the rescue! He jumps up, goes with the clueless and retrieves the ring.
Yay! Wedding ensues. Happy happy. Truly happy.
So, how did he do it? What powers did he use?
He’s used to finding things because he’s used to looking for things. He’s gotten very very good at finding things.
I was going to compile a list of sites that others have put together for Jewish wedding checklists, but then I realized I should concentrate on my superhero.
Okay, here are a few, just for fun.
But now, in honor of my superhero, I am going to list all of his super powers, or the ones that come to mind now. I’m sure you might be able to add more, if you try:
- able to look like he remembers who you are, even though he hasn’t a clue
- able to include details about people during his sermons that bring tears to their eyes
- able to forget what people tell him so that there’s no problem with him telling other people’s secrets
- able to talk to people, really really crazy people, and make them feel “normal”, whatever normal is
- able to
panderlisten to the poor as well as the rich
- able to recommend doctors, lawyers, plumbers, Indian chiefs, and get you the right guy for your job, if he can’t do it himself
- able to step in when necessary, even though it will be messy. Very very messy. That goes for court cases, custody battles, and eruv-checking, even if there’s actual poison ivy. Or virtual.
- able to juggle. No, actually juggle. He doesn’t juggle obligations or tasks so well. He’s pretty much a guy’s guy with that. One thing at a time. Which i guess brings me to the next superpower:
- able to hyperfocus. No multi-tasking for my guy!
- able to use tools, but doesn’t look for opportunities to actually have to use them.
- able to pull out all kinds of tools for any occasion. And buy more, if he doesn’t have them already. Or in a different size.
- able to talk about wine as if he really knew what he was talking about (Okay, maybe he does. A little.)
- able to finish term papers of all kinds on any subject for his children and anyone else but himself. Did I mention that he’s hyperfocussed?
No, that’s not his supername. I’m still thinking of what to call him if he were a superhero.
But right now, he’s just Clark Kent, no cape.