a representation of a flower

I had a conversation this morning about feminism and Orthodox Judaism and me. Someone wanted to know how I stand, or maybe where I stand, and why things do or do not happen here that may or may not happen other places.

How’s that for a convoluted sentence? I think she wanted to know why we do not push the envelope more completely, since we seem like we should be a group that does so.

So I told her that my venue is learning. I have zero interest in performance. I think that ritual is fine in and of itself, but it’s not what interests me in any way to make me motivated to get more involved.  So I can’t really relate.  And singing does matter to me, but not singing to prove something.  What is the motive for performance, I wonder? Is it to be like the boys or is it really Avodat Hashem, service to G-d ?

Yes, G-d gets left out of the equation too often.

She responded in the kindest of ways whether the issue was a matter of giving the benefit of the doubt.

I said I doubt it, but no, I’m already past that.

And then for whatever reason, I thought of flowers.

And being open and vulnerable and almost past their prime, but actually being completely that.

At their prime.

And so I thought about how I much prefer flowers these days when they are completely open. Completely done.

Before they’re done.

You know, sort of right before you need a haircut is when your hair looks the best.

Oh I do remember why I thought of flowers.

I told her that we had a Shabbat afternoon service for women years ago and it was lovely. Beautiful singing, no egos. It dissipated because the main leader moved away and I think I got busy with babies.

And it was nice, but I didn’t feel I needed it so much to recreate it.

So flowers?

Yes.

I said that my favorite prayer time throughout the week is this Shabbat Minchah afternoon service.

The day is almost done. I’m filled with a sense of completion, but also a sense of the future, of the promise of more Shabbatot to come.

And it’s short and so sweet.

Like a flower at its prime.

Advertisements

2 responses

  1. Pingback: how many canoes, exactly? | Learning from the Learned

  2. Pingback: what we think we leave behind – touchingtoes

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s