True Grit

I love this article in the NY Times magazine. I’ll entice you to read the whole thing, if you haven’t already, by this snippet:

Overindulging kids, with the intention of giving them everything and being loving, but at the expense of their character — that’s huge in our population. I think that’s one of the biggest problems we have at Riverdale.”

This is a problem, of course, for all parents, not just affluent ones. It is a central paradox of contemporary parenting, in fact: we have an acute, almost biological impulse to provide for our children, to give them everything they want and need, to protect them from dangers and discomforts both large and small. And yet we all know — on some level, at least — that what kids need more than anything is a little hardship: some challenge, some deprivation that they can overcome, even if just to prove to themselves that they can. As a parent, you struggle with these thorny questions every day, and if you make the right call even half the time, you’re lucky. But it’s one thing to acknowledge this dilemma in the privacy of your own home; it’s quite another to have it addressed in public, at a school where you send your kids at great expense.

This is one of the main reasons I left teaching; I couldn’t stand the overindulgence of parents, which really, when it comes down to it, means not caring about your kids. Hard work is meaningful. Things that come too easily are too easily left behind.

Including love.

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