i do hate soda

I went into the shul to bring some supplies in for an upcoming event . My dear dear friend T who apparently loves loves loves to shlepp shlepp shlepp helped me bring the things that we had bought the other day, along with a bunch of stuff I was storing in my pretty clean basement, over to the shul. So here is our version of “If you bring some food to the shul”

If you bring some food to the shul, you might have to have a friend help you.

If you have a friend help you, you might have to have her drive because she’s storing so much stuff in her car and she’s got a nice big van.

If your friend drives, you might have to have her wait by the kitchen while you go around to the other side to open the shul, since the kitchen door lock is stuck.

If the kitchen door is stuck, you might also have to remember to remind the House committee person to fix the door and the screen door which is also broken.

If you have to remind the House person to fix all those things, you might want to remind him to put in the air conditioner in the hot hot kitchen.

If you have to work without an air conditioner in the hot hot kitchen, you might want to wait until tomorrow to cook, even if it will be hotter tomorrow.

If you have to cook tomorrow, you might as well wait for the water not to be brown after the water main break yesterday.

If you have to wait for the water to not be brown, you might also remember that when you have to clean the carpet and the floor after trying to take the soda from the storage room and one bottle falls off the cart and explodes every which way in the storage room and yes, in the sanctuary.

If you have to clean the carpet and the floor,  you might as well throw away the used coffee cup that you find in the storage room.

If you throw away the coffee cup, you might as well throw away the cookie that you found on the shul carpet by the door.

If you throw away the cookie, you might think about the food from the bar mitzvah from yesterday.

If you remember the bar mitzvah from yesterday, you might think about the cooking that you need to do for tomorrow.

If you think about the cooking for tomorrow, you might remember the other person who apologized profusely to your husband and asked if he could join and put him on your list.

If you put him on your list, you might remember to put out a notice about the next event.

If you put out a notice about the next event, you will probably forget to write who to make the check out to.

If you forget about the check, then someone will probably remind you to do that.

If someone reminds you, then you’ll remember that you need all the help you can get.

And that really is the end of the story.