All the world’s a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages.

As You Like It Act 2, scene 7, 139–143 

So how did I go from weddings to Shakespeare? Easy. Actually, it’s all one. 🙂 It’s all Torah. I’m realizing that to have a successful wedding, you have to think of it as a performance, a stage. One of the fathers of the recent wedding parties told me that is was he was told before his own wedding. He was playing a role, so he shouldn’t get too caught up in the drama of the details.

The important thing, therefore, is not to let the “audience”, meaning the guests, know that it is a performance. They shouldn’t see the drama; they should only see the love and the smiles and the happiness. And they should eat well and dance well and go home happy, too.

We all think that our weddings are the only ones with drama. I’m here to tell you that all weddings have drama. Breaking of the plate for tana’im is a symbol of the breaking of the tension in the preparations; breaking of the glass under the huppah is a symbol of breaking the tension of the future.

This insight led me to compare the need to hide the seams to realize how great a miracle was the production of the mishkan. Here was a place with curtains that were embroidered so that there was the symbol of the kruvim on both sides, one side looking like a lion, the other like an eagle, according to Rashi. That left no space for mistakes. Outside and inside were both seen and valued and unique. How extraordinary, in all senses of the word!

So the wedding, of course, is only the opening act of marriage. And even though we do know to keep the seams from showing outward, we know that the longer you stay married, the less you need to do so. And maybe marriage looks like an eagle to the outsiders, and a lion inward, it hopefully will keep its seams strong.

And if we need to do some mending, okay, that image works, too.


2 responses

  1. Pingback: what’s the worse thing that has ever happened to you at a wedding? « But Mostly Hers

  2. Pingback: what am i–chopped liver? « Learning from the Learned

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