the older we get, the more we look back

Well, I guess that’s one of the silliest things I’ve ever written.  Duh, there’s more to look back on.

But you know there’s more than that; when you’re young, you’re just looking ahead, no reflection back.  Of course, when we’re older, we aren’t really reflecting in order to change for the better, either.  We’re just looking at the mess we’ve left behind, most of the time.

I got an email from someone the other day.  You know, same drill–details changed to protect the guilty.  So it went (sort of) like this:

My apologies, if I’ve reached the wrong person.  Google is not perfect.  I recently attended the 40-year reunion for … High School Class of ’70, and have been reminiscing with a classmate, … about attending … Elementary School. He sent me a photo of our 4th grade class with Mrs. …, and I think, if I’ve reached the right person, you’re in this picture.  It made me wonder whatever happened to the ……who used to be my friend.

I won’t bother you with the details of my life, in case I’ve reached the wrong person.  But if you’re the …who used to live in … before moving to … and are interested in catching up, send me an email back.

This means more than 40 years ago, since I moved in ’68.  I promptly googled her and found out that she’s become an artist and her work is quite rich and interesting.  So knowing a little about her, too, I wrote back that indeed, I am she of the aforementioned details.  She found me through the obituary for my mother, which combined my “maiden” name (really a horrible term, isn’t it?) with my married (perhaps not better) one.  And since I’m on the web quite a bit for work and community stuff, it was easy enough to find my email address.

And so the other morning, we found an opportunity to chat for a while.  Nothing too revealing, except that she mentioned that she and this other fellow thought that it must be scary to have a rabbi as a friend?  husband?  Not sure, but they found that off-putting.  “If you knew him, you’d know it’s not scary much at all.  In fact, the opposite.

But I think, in the end, that’s the reality that people who are not in my world want to embrace; that rabbiness is scary and the Jewish orthodox thing is scary and we took different forks of the road…

Or maybe it’s because she said that she doesn’t use Facebook that much since someone attacked her political views after another friend and she were having a go at it, friendly and all…and maybe she saw that I’m pretty vocal about my support of Israel and the folly of those peaceniks who claim that Israel is the aggressor and the Palestinians can do no harm…

or it’s really that she doesn’t like to have odd people butt onto her page and express spout their views on her comment line…

whatever it is, I don’t see us becoming best friends now.  It’s nice to reminisce, but it’s also just as powerful to stay in the present.

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