This has a happy ending, so don’t worry.
Like I did for a very long time today.
How long did it take to search today for the pile of DVD’s that I need for work? Where would I have put them? I moved them when I was installing my new computer. I took the opportunity to clean my desk really well, along with ridding it of some old stuff. So I knew I got rid of old CD’s from at least 10 years ago (although we still have floppy’s, even if we don’t have any way of reading them) and I knew I threw them out. Could it have been that the ones I wanted got thrown away by mistake? And the garbage truck had just pulled away from my driveway, so there was no way to even check the cans for that possibility.
It felt like I was in the middle of a bad Kafka parody. I knew I would have done something logical/rational/reasonable with them, wouldn’t I? In a drawer in the closet? On a shelf? On the other cabinet? On the floor behind the shelf? Now it felt like a bad Dr. Suess parody, but I wasn’t laughing.
I could feel the anxiety taking over my body. And poor ISHI got called in, and he also fell into the mess of the anxiety–maybe he dropped them into the garbage by mistake?
That started feeling like it was the only logical explanation.
We spent a really long time searching through the study. And of course, that got me more depressed along with anxious, since I saw all the other stuff piled onto the piles in the closet that should have been dumped when it came in.
Okay, I promised you that it had a happy ending.
Where did ISHI find them? In the CD/DVD file box on my desk. Yes, of course I already looked through it! But I thought they were empty jewel boxes.
I could say “Yay! My knight in shining armor!” Except that I was so frustrated with all the other junk that is here that I couldn’t feel that completly grateful.
Moral? Put things away when you get them; spend 15 minutes every night cleaning up. (More than that just isn’t going to be a reasonable request, is it?)
And trust your instincts.
And then remember to show your gratitude.