are you who you say you are

or are you who you think you are?

They’re different, you know.

I am getting so frustrated with people who don’t even try to know themselves.  Maybe that’s not accurate; I’m frustrated with people who put faces on themselves that don’t reflect who they possibly could be.  Maybe sometimes this is a good thing, to pretend you’re someone else in the hopes that you will turn into this good or better person.  But I fear that sometimes or more often than not, it is just pretense.  And I hate pretense.

The other day, daughter #1 was teaching my father how to use skype on his new computer.  He was absolutely thrilled, like a kid in the proverbial candy shop.  He was marveling over the ease and the possibilities, all at the same time.  And he wasn’t even looking at the great-grandchildren, who were visiting him, but he saw how they were looking at me and he realized the strength of that.  We talked about how this enhances life, and we should embrace things that help us do that.

And that stands for another part of this little essay; are we enhancing life or are we pretending?   Life is very rich; why do we have to pretend it’s something or we’re something we’re not?

I don’t wear make-up on a regular basis; I certainly wouldn’t dream of coloring my hair, even as I cover it, and well, I’ve talked enough about my clothing choices.  But today, I saw so many women wearing really poor choices.  Glamour magazine, in its section Do’s and Don’ts, still shows photos of real women (not models) with their idea of good clothing choices and shows some really poor choices, with the pre-pixillation black blocking their eyes.  I wish I could photograph these women I see and then show them what they look like.  Too tight, too short, too alluring.  And don’t get me started again on the 8-inch heels thing; it’s just inhuman to wear those things.  This is not the enhancement that we should be doing.  And then there is the bizarre combination of those women wearing sheitels and flip-flops.  I’m sorry; this does not compute.  We have lost the memo on tzniyut–that’s for sure.  But I am worried more about what we women are doing to ourselves and why in the year 2010 so many women are dressing like–well, there’s no other way around it; like sluts.  I am so appalled at the lack of kavod that they are showing for themselves.  We are better than that.

And if you are not, then you should get into the practice of pretending you are, in the hopes that maybe, just maybe, you’ll get to think you are one of these days soon.


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